Monday, February 28, 2011

Hope = Action

I have been praying a lot lately for guidance and help. I want to feel like I am on the right path with my job, my parenting, my finances, my life, how I treat people, etc. I have so many people in my life right now who are struggling to find jobs, struggling with their finances, their love lives, their children and especially their health. They need hope. They need to know that their future will be better than their reality.

I have noticed that those people who take action are the ones that move forward. Persistence always pays off. If you keep asking and if you keep looking, you will eventually get an answer or find what you need. It will happen.

So much of our day to day stuff gets in the way of stopping and making a plan of how we want our lives to go and how we want the people in our lives to feel. We have to get quiet and ask ourselves what really matters. How do I want to feel, how do I want those I love the most to feel? We can’t let our daily stress change how we treat others. We have to be consistently loving and consistently caring and not allow our struggles to dictate our personalities. We can be loving even when we are tired, sick or stressed. It is in times of need that we need to rely on others the most.

We need to make it happen. We need to make our relationships work and not just hope they will always be there. We need to focus on finding jobs that make us happy and not just hope that it will get better. We need to work on our health and not just hope that we will get healthy by reading about a good diet and exercise. We need to LOVE our partners with our entire hearts and not just hope that the relationship will stay strong.

There can be no room for doubt or excuses, we just need to make it happen because we need to be happy. We deserve to be happy. No one is more or less deserving. There is enough for everyone.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Last free Friday

Today is my last Friday at home with my boys. I am so grateful to still have a flexible job, but I am sad about losing this special time with my guys.

It is stormy today. We are just going to snuggle and play. Tonight we are meeting family at a fun pizza parlor, we are excited to have plans to get out of the house. We were supposed to have casey's first t-ball practice today, but I think it will be cancelled.

I hope you all had a great week!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Too big, too small

Casey and Erik have matching jammies. Last night Casey was SO excited to get out of the bath and watch Americas Funniest Videos that he got dressed with lightning speed. When Pedar and I were getting Erik dressed we realized his shirt was really big, which meant that Casey's must be really small.

Casey in Erik's pajama top

Casey is so funny

Crazy Casey, I love this kid!
We had a really quiet weekend. Pedar is still fighting this terrible bug. He hopes it isn't turning into a sinus infection. Casey is still coughing a ton at night. Erik and I are dong pretty well. I have today off from work and the boys and I are going to continue to relax and hang.

We hope you all are having a wonderful Monday! We love you!

Friday, February 18, 2011

It can be done


It felt like today may never arrive, but today I made my final student loan payment. I graduated more than ten years ago and the debt bothered me, especially since it wasn't even for that much. I didn’t go to Medical School and I didn’t go back for a Master’s Degree either!  I am proud of putting myself through college but I was never proud of the debt. I put off paying my loan several times and I hated doing it. We paid for our wedding in 2001 and then we bought this "Money Pit" house in 2002. Casey came a long in 2004 and we welcomed Erik in 2008.  Some other bill or project or even a nonsense item that we didn’t really need always got priority and I was tired of it! I know Suze Orman would say that student loan debt is the best kind to have, but mine felt like a creepy little debt that clung to me like a fungus.

To save money I have been cutting corners like "enhancing" my hair by myself and Pedar has even trimmed it for me.  We haven't had a big vacation in a long time, but most of our friends haven’t either. Mainly we’ve just been waiting to buy things. We want to buy new curtains, new rugs, a big mama camera, new skis, go to Hawaii, go to Disneyland and so much more... but we need to wait. I know, crazy concept aye?

I am excited to focus now on taking care of other debts and fattening up our savings so we can have that safety net that Suze talks about so much. Safety First people!

If Pedar didn’t have a fever and a wicked cough I think we would cheers to this day, but instead I’ll make him a cup of tea and give him some Tylenol cold. Hope you all are healthy. It’s a nice day to stay inside and be cozy wozy. Cheers to making it happen!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thank you

For those that stop by this little blog and have read about my recent job struggle and have offered me support, love and prayers, I just want to say


Today I found out that I get to keep my job. I am now a full time saleswoman with Mercy Imaging Centers (MIC). I will begin working Friday's again and although I am bit sad to lose that day with my guys, I will be able to power through it.
I've been working for MIC for three years, but I was hired as a Marketing/Communications Specialist, and the job has evolved, so now with the restructure there is no looking back.
I have held many roles since receiving a degree in journalism, but not sales. Although as Mor-Mor has been telling me, "You are a sales person, you just have to embrace the title and go for it!" I am hugging it out with sales now, Mor-Mor!! I am excited for the opportunity. I'm excited that I get to keep everyone under my health insurance and that I can continue putting money away into my retirement account. I am excited to continue to support my family’s finances. I am excited to put this stress and worry behind me. I will be under a bit of probation for a while, but I'm just going to PROVE that I can do this! No P P! No pressure, no problem, mon. That is what the Jamaicans told us on our honeymoon, and that is the advice I am following now.
I want to thank my parents for praying the rosary for me last night. It has been a long time since I've said the rosary, but I remember it taking awhile, and to know that you stopped and prayed for me means a lot. My Mom also had her prayer group sending up prayers for me. How lucky am I?

 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Sick, sick, sick

I am home sick with Casey today. I have a fever and a yucky cough and my throat hurts. I'm whiny and I am lying uselessly on the couch.

Casey had a better night last night. I think his fever is gone, but his cough is still really bad. Casey had a fever all day yesterday and was so weak.

I am hoping that Pedar and Erik stay healthy!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope you feel loved and cozy wozy today. We had a rough night last night with sweet Casey. He had a terrible night of fever and croup and is home with Nana today, hopefully getting better. He missed his Valentines day party. Poor little dude. Erik is healthy and we pray he stays that way.
Happy Valentines Day! I love you!

Pedar loves holding Erik's hand!
Pedar and I celebrated Valentines Day on Friday. Mor-Mor and Pop-Pop watched Erik for us so we could leave at 8 a.m. and head up the mountain for a day of skiing at Alpine. Mor-Mor picked up Casey from school at 11 a.m. and brought the boys up to the cabin for us. Thank you Mor-Mor and Pop-Pop, we are so grateful to you for giving us a beautiful day together!
Still crazy after all these years! I love you, Pedar!

Pedar and I had a wonderful day skiing. I didn't fall at all and my legs didn't get super tired because I didn't snow-plow all day. I have been trying to learn to ski for years so I can share Pedar's bliss with him. I love skiing with Pedar. I love seeing his face full of happiness. I love the scenery, I love being outside and I love finally feeling the "dance" that your body makes while skiing.

 

We got to visit with our dear friend Mike at Alpine too, which is always a wonderful treat. We love you, Mike. We hope you have an amazing time in India.

Our cousins, the Remme's and Hausman's, came up to the cabin this weekend too. We had a great time visiting and playing with everyone. Look how cute all the kids look on the couch! Erik is obsessed with his balloon book, "Where do balloons go?" by Jamie Lee Curtis. He wants us to read it to him about ten times a day and he wants to "hold it" wherever he goes.


Tired kids watching a movie

Isn't this adorable?!
 This morning the boys woke up to lollipops in the front yard! St. Valentine had brought lollipops to the boys!! Erik was sooo excited!


Magic can happen anywhere and anytime

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I hope you are feeling especially loved today!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I love you

Sometimes three little words are all you need. Love means: I'm here for you, I support you, I want you to be happy, your smile brings me joy and so much more.

I love these two guys

Liam LOVES Casey

Erik was being silly

Lila loves to smile

Pedar and I Mike love the snow, they love each other too! Mike introduced Pedar to everyone as his brother. Way to make Pedar leak, Mike!


I love watching these two play. When Erik stands on a chair they are the same height, so cute!

I love Wednesdays with Nana, Liam and Lila!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Where does depression hurt?

This is a difficult topic because a lot people get the blues and feel a little down, but there are others that suffer with depression. I feel so much empathy for those suffering with depression.

My Dad fights depression. Growing up I didn't know that other Dad's didn't sleep that much. He was just tired from working, right? Wrong. Dad was sad. Dad experienced the kind of sad that left him immobilized. Dad is better today. We are all grateful that he is taking care of himself. But having grown up around depression, I recognize the symptoms. I know a regular routine helps. I know that making yourself get up, get moving, get working and making plans, help.

I have been lucky. I have only experienced the immobilized type of depression a few times, for short periods, thankfully. When Casey was born it was probably the worst. I cried a lot when I was alone, which you are a lot when you have a baby, which is really awful actually. No one talks about how isolating having a baby can be, but that is whole other blog post. Anyhoo, I put on a cheery face as best as I could. As a teenager when I had acne and felt like I was the ugliest person in the world, I again, felt alone and tried to make everyone laugh so they wouldn't notice how ugly I was.

When I am feeling down I experience paralysis. I can barely get anything done. For those of you that know me, this is not good. I like to get things done. I like a clean house, bills paid, friends/family visited, laundry folded, meals made and hugs given kind of life. I hate feeling frozen. I hate feeling tired and sad. When I am distracted, I am OK. But when I am alone with my thoughts, it is no bueno.

I am a grateful girl. I have a wonderful family, friends, husband and kids. I am healthy. I have so much.

But it is the "D" that makes me question who I am, what purpose I serve. Am I smart enough? Do I have enough skills? Why didn't I become a nurse? Am I smart enough to become a nurse? Am I smart enough to do the things I want to do. What do I want to do? What am I good at? Why don't I take better care of myself? Why isn't keeping the kitchen clean and the laundry done good enough? How can we ALL be special?

I'm in need of some BIG distractions right now, so I've decided to bone-up on romance novels. My reality is shaky so I've decided to give fantasy a try. I've read three romance novels since Sunday, I'm feeling better. I highly recommend it.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Attitude


"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." 

Thomas Jefferson

I'm choosing to be hopeful, helpful and cheerful.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Keeping it simple

Casey letting the string out little by little

Erik didn't like the wind in his eyes so I lent him my sunglasses

Crazy wind makes a little guy nervous and need to be held

Curly enjoyed the field trip too!
We stayed close to home this weekend. I only left my home for a few hours on Saturday to go shopping with Lisa, Dagny and Mor-Mor. Other than that I never left my house. I loved it!!  We went on a long bike ride this morning and yesterday we flew kites. Today we hung out with our sweet neighbors and ate delicious food.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

At first I was afraid


Change is coming. I don't know exactly when or what, but there is a lot of JOB change coming my way. At first I was really scared. I felt angry that these changes were happening. But now, I am beginning to feel excited. I am excited about the possibility that this change might be good. Maybe everything will work out. Maybe it will be even better than before.

I'm always going to have to get used to change, so I better learn to embrace it and look for the silver lining!





I am so grateful for the constant love from Pedar, Erik, Casey and from so many wonderful family and friends. I am so lucky.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy Groundhog Day!







Close call

Last night Erik, Curly and I walked over to the park by our house and watched Casey and Jacob bike around for a bit, while Melanie tried to tire out their puppy Blue. On the way home, Casey saw Pedar pull into the driveway so he sped up to greet him. He wasn't looking and he turned his bike right into the path of our neighbors oncoming truck. She was able to stop. He didn't even know what happened. I was about 40 yards away, Pedar was in the driveway. It all happened so fast, I couldn't even speak. Casey was fine, but Pedar and I made eye contact and we FELT what almost happened. I apologized to our neighbor, she wasn't terribly mad, but you could tell she was shaken. She had almost hit Casey. Thank God she wasn't speeding or on the phone or texting.

This morning I read a story about an eight-year-old boy that was accidentally killed in a sledding accident. A truck didn't see him. Like Casey his Daddy was just a few feet away.

Casey doesn't understand how a driver may not be able to correct in time. He thinks he is invincible, he thinks nothing will happen. It is time for Pedar and I to scare him a bit. He is a bit too laid back on his bike. He is too care free. I want him to be a defensive driver. I want him to be prepared for anything.

Thank you, Angels. Thank you God for being with Casey last night.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

No brooding!

 "Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year's time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings."

Andre Maurois
1885-1967, Writer
 




Casey took this picture of me. I think you can tell how much I love Casey just by the look on my face.