Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Things do change

Sometimes I feel like not much has changed in my world. It might sound funny coming from someone who has been in a new job for only three weeks. I'm talking big picture. For the past seven years, our routine hasn't changed much. We work, pay bills and take care of kids.

My house still needs a new kitchen, new bathroom, new driveway and I want to be able to plan "real" trips. Sometimes I just feel like time is standing still and I am waiting on good news or a financial windfall so we can move forward with plans. It seems like we've been in survival mode for most of our married life.  Their hasn't been much extra for NEW. I want NEW in my life. I know someday I will have it, but it feels like that someday keeps moving father and father away. I am grateful for what we have and I will try and focus on wanting what I have, but I am not going to pretend that I don't want MORE.

I know I'm not alone and that helps. I  know it is normal to feel this way, especially while raising small children, marking large daycare payments and living through a recession! It's a bit sad to think that this is how it might be for several more years.

I can't help but think we are doing something wrong. We must be spending too much money on something that is making spending money elsewhere so difficult. But no, we really are doing the best we can with what we've got. We probably didn't need to take on a car payment, but Pedar loves his truck and I feel better knowing he drives a safer vehicle. Sometimes I just want to charge it up, you know? I just want to stop waiting and just plan the trips, complete the house projects and buy all the clothes and items we want! But that would put us into a mountain of debt and I fear debt.

I know I need to focus more on people and not on things or money. Try telling your six-year-old who keeps asking, "When are we going to Disneyland?" It's been three years since our last trip and we keep putting it off. Erik has been a GREAT excuse, but he's getting bigger too. Believe me, I don't sugarcoat the answer. I use it as a "teachable moment", but even I am tired of hearing me say, "We will go soon honey. We have to save money for the trip and get the time off of work."

I was talking to a co-worker the other day who said, "You need to have fun while you're young. Waiting till you're retired is not when you are physically able to enjoy all that life has to offer."

I agree.

When I start to go too far down this slippery slope, I look back at pictures of the boys and I am quickly reminded that things do change. Things will change. I have just got to keep trying.

Erik loves the show, "Yo Gabba Gabba!" He sings this terrific song from the show all the time:

Keep trying, Keep trying, You'll get it right! You'll get it right!
Keep trying, Keep Trying, Don't give up, Never give up!
You did it! You did it! You got it right! You got it right!

I'll keep trying and I won't give up until I make it all happen!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Pink Time with family in Tahoe

We spent this past weekend in Tahoe with our amazing family. We spent Saturday at the Chambers Landing. We stayed at my in-laws gorgeous cabin in Homewood. The house has five bedrooms and three bathrooms. It is a wonderful place to stay, schedule your next vacation there today. Help me spread the word, OK?!
We spent quality time with the Hausman's, the Remme's, Aunt Dagny and Mor-Mor and Pop-Pop. We celebrated Pedar's Birthday. 
 The boys LOVED being with their cousins: Lindsey, Megan, Gavin and Annika. One of my favorite memories of the weekend was swimming to the pontoon. Jeff, Pedar, Dawn, Gavin, Annika, Lindsey, Megan, Pedar Bruce, Casey, Mor-Mor and I all swam to the pontoon. Lisa watched Erik for me and treated him to a Popsicle. The water was cold, but it was so refreshing. Lisa found this great quote she wanted me to share: "The frigid waters of Lake Tahoe numb the body but awaken the soul!"

As a family we've been going to Tahoe to be together since I believe 1997. We've watched each other settle into adulthood/parenthood and grandparenthood. The support and love that I feel from these folks is wonderful. We are so lucky to be so loved. 

We were at the beach when a tragedy at the dock happened at Chamber's on Saturday. We heard the lifeguard screaming and we knew from what we could see from the beach that someone was terribly hurt. When it was happening and everyone at Chambers was in full panic mode, we just wanted to leave and get out of the way and protect the kids from seeing anything terrible. It was stressful enough hearing the screaming and watching people crying and falling apart. We quickly left the beach and made it back to the cabin where we hugged and prayed for the accident victim. We later learned that he died moments after the accident. It was just so quick. One minute everything was fine, people were sipping their Chamber's punch, kids were playing in the sand and the next minute someone was gone forever. We are all so vulnerable.

On Sunday we avoided Chambers and instead went to Sugar Pine Point State Park. We rented a kayak and a paddleboard and enjoyed a beautiful afternoon on the Lake.

I am so grateful for fabulous family!

Friday, August 26, 2011

What's been awesome about your life this week?

My awesome list:
~ Still loving my new job
~ The Catherine Tate Show on Neflix. So funny!
~ Pedar's Birthday
~ Pedar's hugs and kisses
~ Erik and Casey's hugs and kisses
~ My adorable fluffy dog
~ Made it on-time every day to drop off Casey
~ Made it on time to soccer practice
~ Got the boys in bed on Wednesday night by 8:30 p.m. (The rest of the week wasn't so good!)
~ Learned that school gets out early on Thursday's at 1:20 p.m. instead of 2:35 p.m. Not so great communication for Mission, but Nana was AWESOME and was able to pick up Jacob and Casey quickly! Nana is AWESOME!
~ Leaving after work today to spend time with family in Tahoe! Cannot wait.
~ Erik and Casey got cuter

I’m going to end my post today by sharing a fun little routine that I do with my kids.

Every morning when they wake up, or really whenever I’m feeling in a loving mood, I peer into their sweet faces closely and ask, “Did you get cuter?!”

Casey and Erik always say, “Yes!”
Try it on someone you love today, young or old. I guarantee it will make them smile and that is the WHOLE POINT!

The next time you need some cuteness, go check out this website Cute Overload.

It is guaranteed to make you smile!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Happy Birthday, Pedar

Pedar is a stud!

Happy Birthday to my Super Hunky Hubby! I look forward to celebrating him in a BIG way this weekend, but for today, we will go to lunch (such a treat to be able to meet him for lunch!) and enjoy dinner tonight with the boys.

Casey asked that I make Pedar a rum cake, but I don’t think I have time today, a Raley’s cake will have to do for tonight.

Erik has requested balloons for Daddy (and for himself!) so I will pick those up as well.

An older picture, look at how tiny Erik was!

Pedar, you just keep getting better! I adore and admire you. I hope by being married to you that some of your patience and concentration behaviors continue to rub off on me. I hope your love of exercise continues to rub off on me as well.

Thank you for being so good to me and the boys. I thank GOD every day that we met when we did so I didn’t have to kiss any more toads. You make me so happy. I hope you know what an incredible man you are and that you feel EXTRA special and loved.

I love you, Pedar. I love you more today than when I declared my love for you in 1996. More than on our wedding day in 2001. More than when Casey was born in 2004 and Erik in 2008. I love you more than the day you told me we could sell our house and move into an apartment when I didn't think I could go back to work after I had Casey. I love you for always making me feel beautiful, even when I'm REALLY not feeling my best. I love you for always making me feel desired and wanted. I love you for being my biggest cheerleader. I love you for helping me feel like we can make our dreams reality.
I am the luckiest woman on the planet.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Tragedy of Missing Out

Today's post was taken from one of my favorite blogs: Zen Habits written by Leo Babauta.

The Tragedy of Missing Out

A father and his son went fishing on a small boat, hungry.

The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty. “Great catch, son,” the father said.

“Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said. “What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?”

“Maybe you should try,” the father said.

And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “A real beaut,” the father said.

“But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked.

“Maybe you should try,” the father said.

And the son did, catching a bigger fish, then wondering if there were better fish, catching another, and so on.

At the end of the day, the son was exhausted. The father asked, “How did the fish taste?”

The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish that I didn’t taste any of them.”

The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly. “Don’t worry. They were delicious.”

We are all of us like the son. We all worry, at some time or other, that we’re missing out on things.

It’s why we’re so busy — we take on so much because we don’t want to miss out. We take on dozens of goals and aspirations, because we don’t want to miss out.

But here’s the bare truth: We will miss out, no matter what. It’s inevitable. We cannot do or try everything in the world, even with lives twice as long. We cannot see every town and city, read every interesting book, watch every important film. We will always, always miss out.

Here’s the second, more important truth: If you always worry about what you’re missing out on, you will miss out on what you already have.

Don’t make a reading list a mile long — focus on the book in your hand. Don’t pack your vacation itinerary with every highlight of the city you’re visiting — walk around and enjoy what you find. Don’t worry about traveling the entire world — be delighted with the world around you. Don’t worry about what you’re missing online, or in the news — what you’re doing is good enough.

And let go of your long to-do lists and goal lists. They are a futile attempt to keep from missing out. You will miss out, but in striving to do everything, you’ll miss out on the wonder of the thing you are doing right now.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

CSUS Aquatic Center

This past Saturday we met a bunch of our super cool friends and their kids at the Sacramento State Aquatic Center for a few hours of fun. We rented kayaks and had a great time.

These wonderful folks are all families we used to interact with at Village Montessori. How great is it that two years after leaving Village we are still hanging out? We still love getting together. I love these folks and I hope they stick around for a really, really long time.

Way to charm the ladies with your crazy smile, Erik! Sydney and Addison LOVED Erik!

Sydney, Erik and Addison

Missing two boys: Erik and Chase