Casey and I got into it the other day. It ended with him calling me a very bad word and me locking him in the backyard. How did it start? He was just being a pest and wouldn't do anything I asked. "Hey Casey, you have a lot of energy, why don't you get on your bike or scooter?"
Casey ignores my request and continues to irritate me and pick on Erik.
I try again, "Hey Casey, get on your bike or your scooter, now!"
Casey ignores me. I start raising my voice. I decide we better go in the backyard so the neighbors don't get any more of a show. We move to the backyard. Picture Erik crying because he wanted to be in the front so he could wave at neighbors and greet Pedar when he got home. I am now carrying/dragging Erik to the backyard while arguing with Casey. We get in the backyard and Casey throws a soccer ball at me. It hits me hard. I pick up Erik and we go inside and I lock Casey out. I ask him to sit down and calm down. I am locking him out because I need a time-out too. Casey HATES being alone. This just makes him angrier. Erik is standing at the sliding glass door, holding his mimi, watching it all go down. Casey yells something at me from outside then he gets up and kicks the sliding door. Before I can open and tell him to stop, he kicks it again. The entire door shakes. This boy is very strong. Erik is freaked out by the sound the kick made to the door and starts crying. Yeah for me. I want to lock myself in the bathroom and read a book and block it all out. But nope, I must handle this.
I open the door and tell him to stop, OK, maybe I screamed at him to stop. He looks at me and says, "You're an *$#hole!" He has never used this word. He looks surprised that he said it, and I am just as surprised. I look at him and shut the door and lock it again.
He knows he is in big trouble now. I let him sit with it for awhile. He comes inside and I give him a choice. He can sit at the counter and hold soap in his mouth or we will be speaking to his school principal tomorrow about his language. Casey is freaked out. He doesn't want me to tell his principal about his behavior. He runs from me to his room. I bring him back to the kitchen, grab the soap, set the timer and away we go. He puts the sliver of bar soap in his mouth. He gags, I tell him to put it back in. He does. He waits for the 45 seconds to be done. He rinses his mouth, he tells me he is sorry.
At about the time I was putting soap in Casey's mouth, Pedar arrived home. I still have Erik on my hip and I am really frazzled. I feel like I have aged ten years. Pedar said he had a bad feeling on his drive home and was hoping Casey was being good. Nope. I hate that Pedar came home to a house out of control, but lately Casey is really testing and I never know what the day will bring.
I know I could have handled things better. I wish I hadn't let it escalate. I wish I hadn't yelled so much. I should have gotten all of us on our bikes and just made us go for a ride. Casey had been inside all day and had WAY to much energy. We are now walking after dinner or riding bikes to help him unleash some of his wild energy.
At the end of the day, I held Casey and told him I loved him. He told me he loved me. He knows I need him to be good and I know he can be good. When he gets angry and yells, I see myself in him, and it is never more clear that I need to be calmer and cooler in stressful situations.
I missed all the Oprah shows, but I read on one of my favorite blogs that Oprah talked about Newtons's law yesterday.
Newton's Third Law of Motion: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
I'm going to remember that everything I do, has a reaction, both good and bad. If I react poorly, I should expect that it will not get better.